Retarded64: Son of a Bowser.
File:Retarded64 Son of a bowser.
Season 5, Episode 3
Vital statistics
Air date January 25, 2015
Written by Unknown
Directed by Unknown
Episode guide
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Retarded64: Son of a Bowser., more often simply called Son of a Bowser, is the 214th video made by SuperMarioGlitchy4, and the tenth episode in the Retarded64 series, and also the third episode of Season 5 of SM64 Bloopers.

Sypnosis Edit

Bowser gets a call from his grandmother Granny Koopa wanting him to babysit Bowser Jr., but causes mischief with him.

Plot Edit

One day, Mario starts randomly dancing while watching the news anchor report something, only for footage of Bowser to appear on the screen, stating that he will "Kidnap the princess" yet again. Mario then says that "He hates this channel," changing to a different one.

Afterwards Bowser was seen video taping himself saying these words, as he then says that "The audiences (especially Mario) would hate this and say, that this channel sucks." However before he continues, Bowser Jr. smashes the camera, saying to Bowser that he's hungry. Bowser becomes enraged and jumps over the side cliff, committing suicide.

We cut back to a while ago, where his grandma had called asking Bowser to take care of his son. He objects and says that he's busy kidnapping the princess. Bowser's Grandma didn't care and hung up, meaning that he has to take care of Bowser Jr, and cuts to a few situations where Bowser gets annoyed with Bowser Jr..

At the supermarket, Bowser gets very annoyed, with Jr. again demanding a drink from Bowser. Bowser gets really angry, asking Jr. if he wants to drink milk. His son refuses, resulting in Bowser screaming.

Bowser crashes into Princess Peach's Castle, where Luigi asks Bowser about movies but he says that he needed Mario, Sonic and Sonic.exe. Upstairs, Mario and SMG4 are shooting a video clip for YouTube. Bowser throws Jr. at Mario's hands making Sonic and Sonic.exe jump, requesting them to take care of the child until he comes back. On his way outside the castle, he celebrates as he was planning to go on a party. Bowser bumps into his grandma, who vows to kill her grandson if anything bad happens to Jr..

Bowser worries that Mario, Sonic and Sonic.exe are torturing Jr., so he runs back to the Castle, only to find that Mario, Sonic and Sonic.exe were just playing planes with him. SMG4 watches, surprised that neither one of them is tired yet. When Mario stops a second time, Jr. urges him to keep going, but Mario, finally exhausted, refuses. Jr. replies by farting on his face, Sonic is disgusted because of Jr's fart smell, enraging Mario and causing him to throw Jr. against the wall. Bowser responds by torching Mario. Bowser Jr. wanted his "uncle" Mario to play with him, after a few times of Bowser refusing, he sarcastically agrees and the three agree, too.

At the movie theater, Mario finds a poster of the old Super Mario Bros. movie, and gets mad about letting people make movies about him, while a Chain Chomp is looking at a poster with Wallace and Gromit on it, questioning what Gromit means. Bowser Jr. settles on Super Mario Twilight, shocking Mario and Bowser. Mario and Bowser both hate it, and Bowser starts vomiting everywhere. The only people who seem to enjoy it are Wario and Bowser Jr.. Later, Mario and Bowser are shown vomiting in the bathroom. When Bowser Jr finds his dad and asks to watch the sequel, Bowser curses at him. This makes Bowser Jr. run away wailing. Mario reminds Bowser that if something bad happens to Junior, Bowser's grandmother will punish him. They search all over to find Bowser Jr. Mario hangs some posters, to alert people to find him.

Later, Mario manages to find him, however, it was Roy he found. Mario and Bowser find Bowser Jr. with his "new cooler papa", Dr. Eggman, at Club Pingas, with Sonic and Sonic.exe there with him. Eggman explains to them that he never had a son before, but Mario doesn't care. Bowser threatens Eggman to give him back Bowser Jr., however Eggman loads and fires bullets from his machine gun in denial. Mario finds a Policeman and threatens him to get Eggman, however, this plan doesn't work as Eggman starts shooting the cop, causing him to run away screaming.

Bowser's grandmother calls him again, but Bowser hangs up the phone quickly, and then tries to save his son by leaping into Eggman, breaking through the inside of Pingas Club, where Sonic is in there, about to sing. Bowser calls Mario for help, and Mario comes just as Sonic was about to sing, Mario gets a mushroom, but he eats the wrong one and faints.

Sonic is singing "Thrilling! Is this love?" and at the end, he wishes to be a singer someday when he grows up, but Bowser wants Junior back. Sonic wants to throw a party, but Eggman stops it.

Dr. Eggman tries to shoot Bowser, but Bowser Jr. appears and violently whacks Eggman in the head with a frying pan, knocking him out. Bowser rewards his son by saying that he is proud of him. Sonic says that singing is fun, but he'll make sure he doesn't go to that club again. Bowser's grandmother arrives and punches Bowser, taking Bowser Jr. home with her. Bowser gets up and realizes Mario is still passed out from the mushroom, causing SMG4 and Sonic.exe to appear out of nowhere, asking how they should end the episode. Bowser Jr. comes and announces that they should watch Super Mario Twilight 2: The Sequel. They do, and Bowser pukes again while watching it, as the video ends.

Characters Edit

Note: This list is incomplete. You can help us by expanding it.


  • SMG4 hit 300,000 subscribers two days before he uploaded this video, then it was probably already in production at the time, explaining the reason for which he didn't release any special blooper for celebrating his 300k. However, he made one the next week anyway: "Bad Star's Back!" .
  • This is the third Retarded64 episode to not have Mario's name in its title, the first being "Retard Karts 101" and the second being "Freddy's Spaghettiria" (however, it's the fourth if we also count "Mario and the 1337 P0lice" when this one is referred as "The 1337 P0lice" only).
  • This is the first Retarded64 episode to not have the usual Retarded64 intro.
  • To some fans offended by the new intro, SMG4 replaced the word "Retarded" with "Beautiful" (through annotation).
  • This is Bowser Jr.'s and Granny Bowser's first major appearance, even though is a Retarded64 blooper.
  • This is the first time since "Retarded64: A Dose of Dr. Mario" that Hitkid96fan has appeared in SMG4's bloopers.
  • Bowser mentions the Koopa Kids/Koopalings, and one of them, Roy, appears at one moment.
  • This is the first time Bowser is seen with twitched eye textures.
  • McShyGuy seems to have new wings, looking like Cirno's ones.
  • Bowser's phone tunes changes when he calls his grandmother for the second time, it's possible he changed it.
  • At the movie theater, the Wallace and Grommit movie poster that the Chain-Chomp looks at is in Italian.
  • While Bowser breaks the door and runs to see if Bowser Jr. is dead, the bombs from the Bowser levels in Super Mario 64 can be seen.



(2015 Intro appears)

(In Peach's Castle, Mario is watching TV)

Mario: (humming) La la la, hmm hmm hmm...La, la, la, hmm hmm-

(TV changes to a channel with Bowser on it)

Bowser: (evil laughter) I'm back, Mario! I'm coming to take the Princess, the castle...AND RULE THE MUSHROOM-

(Mario changes the channel)

Mario: I hate this channel.

(In Bowser's Sky Platform where Bowser is recording himself with the camera)

Bowser: Now, I know what you might be thinking: You're thinking "Bowser, this is the stupidest idea you ever came up with"-

(Bowser Jr. appears behind him)


(Bowser roars at him and pushes him away)

Bowser: Well, you know what I gotta say for that?

Bowser Jr.: MOMMY! (Destroys the camera) MOMMY!!!


Bowser Jr.: I'm hungry, have you got any food?

Bowser: (Screams) You'll never take me alive! (Screams and jumps off the platform)

Bowser Jr.: Oh, motherfu-

(Scene changes to lava land)

Bowser: I... I can't do it... I really don't like children... Even though I have like 5 or 7 of them... Grandma... Why do you do this to me??

(2 hours ago)

(Phone rings)

Bowser: (Picks up the phone) What's up?

Grandma: Raisins!

Bowser: Oh... Hi, Grandma!

Grandma: I need you to look after little Junior for a while!

Bowser: What?!

(Dramatic close-up on Bowser)

Grandma: Granny needs to go on a little trip!

Bowser: Oh, really? I was really hoping to kidnap the princess and all!

Grandma: No, it's okay, I'll just die now...

Bowser Jr.: MOMMY! MOMMY!!!

Grandma: (Pusher Bowser Jr. away) SHUT THE FUCK UP!! (talks to Bowser) OK, see ya, Honey!

(Grandma hangs up the phone)

Bowser: NO! NO NO NO!

(Montage with Bowser Jr. having fun pushing Bowser off the sky and gets squashed by a Whomp, which Bowser ignores. Then, in the market, Bowser gets really annoyed by his son's crying.)

Bowser Jr.: I'm thirsty, you got something to drink-y?

Bowser: Do you...want to drink...MMMMMMMMILK?!?!

Bowser Jr.: Uh, no!

(Bowser screams)

(In the castle with Luigi inside the lobby)

Bowser: (From outside) Shut up, shut up, shut up! (Breaks in the castle)

Luigi: Oh, hey, Bowser, what's up? Making some home movies?

Bowser: I, uh-NO! Is Mario here?!

(Scene changes with Mario up close to the camera)

Mario: Ooh! Oh, look! Oh, boy! Another Retarded64 video! I wonder what we're gonna do today??

(Spaghetti is done alarm)

Mario: YES, OH MY GOSH! Come here, fishy-

(Stove opens, which hits Mario)

Mario: OH, FUCK!

Michael Jackson: (Appears out of spaghetti) Hey, fellas, you looking for a good time? I'll show you a good time! (Grabs his crotch a bunch of times)

Mario: OH, IT'S ON, ASSHOLE! (Goes to fight Michael Jackson)

SMG4: Oh, goddammit!

(Bowser appears from downstairs and sees SMG4 with a camera while Mario and MJ are fighting)

Bowser: I'm not disturbing, am I?

SMG4: Not really... We failed the shot anyway...

Bowser: Hey! Mario! Take this! (Gives Bowser Jr. to Mario) Don't let him die and, uhh... Give it back in a couple of hours! (Walks away laughing)

Mario: ...Wait, what?! Mamafucker!

(Back in the lobby)

Mario: Hoo hoo, hello! It's-a me, Mario! And aren't you the cutest wittle Bowser I've seen! Come on!

(Bowser Jr. breathes in)

Mario: Oh, look!

(Bowser Jr. throws a big fire at Mario, burning him)


(Outside the castle)

Bowser: (Laughs) My god... I did it... I'm finally free... PARTYYYYYY!!

(Cut to a montage of Bowser dancing in random places,then to him running into his grandma)

Bowser: Huh? (Screams) Uh-oh! Uhhh... Hi there, Granny... What a surprise...

Granny: I was just checking on you and Junior... Where is little Junior?

Bowser: I uhh... I left home... Yeah...

Granny: You left him at home... ALONE?!

Bowser: (Backs away) No no no... He's being looked after by an Italian dude...

Granny: (Grows bigger) If anything were to happen to my little Junior... I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!

(Bowser runs away screaming to another place)

Bowser: Oh, God... Bowser Jr. is safe with Mario, right?...

(Bowser imagines Mario singing, Sonic.exe laughing and fading away and Sonic derping around when the castle is on fire, causing Bowser Jr. to burn)

Bowser: Holy shit!

(Bowser breaks the door open to go back inside the castle)

Bowser: SON!! You're not dead, are you?!

(Turns out Mario, Sonic and Sonic.exe was just playing airplane with Bowser Jr. having fun)

Sonic: Errrrrrm! Errrrrrrrrrm!

Bowser Jr.: Again!

Mario: Mamaf***er! (Continues playing with Bowser Jr.)

Sonic: Errrrrrrrrrm!

Bowser: Oh, thank God, he's alive...

SMG4: I'm surprised Mario isn't dead. He's been doing this for 3 hours now.

Sonic: Yeah, keep it up, now! Errrrrrrrm!

(Mario stops playing airplane)

Mario: I'm-a fallen, and I can't get up!

Bowser Jr.: Again!

Mario: No!

(Bowser Jr. farts on Mario's face and laughs, which angers Mario)

Mario: WHAT THE FUCK?! (Gets more angry) I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT!

Sonic: P.u, Junior! You know babies don't fart on people's faces-WAUGH!!

(Mario throws Bowser Jr. to the wall, which angers Bowser)

Bowser: YOU SON OF A BITCH!! (Blows fire at Mario, burning his body)

Sonic: Did the bait work?

Junior.: (Crying) Papa... Why'd you destroy uncle Mario?

Bowser: He is not your uncle! And he uhh is actually a pedophile. Now lets go!

Junior: (Crying) But I want to play with Uncle Mario!

Bowser: OK, OK! Fine! "Uncle" Mario can come!

Mario: (Gets up unburned somehow) WOOHOO!

Sonic: Aw yeah!

Sonic.exe: Wouldn't you agree?

(Outside the castle)

Bowser: (Laughs) OK, Mario, you stop Junior from crying and I'll go capture the Princess.

Mario: (carrying Bowser Jr.) Hey! I can't even see where I'm going!

Bowser: I don't give a fuck! (Runs away)

Junior: Papa Bowser... I want to see a movie... with you too...

Bowser: ...Oh... Alright...

(They went to a movie theater where Mario looked at the "Super Mario Bros. Movie" poster, in which he is outraged)

Mario: Look, I'm a video game! When the heck did I let people make movies about me?

(While Mario angrily runs away, Chain Chomp looked at the "Wallace and Gromit" poster)


Mario: (Gets angry) I even heard that movie sucks!

Bowser: Oh it's not that bad, cry baby!

Junior: Hey, Papa! I want to watch this movie!

(They looked at the "Super Mario Twilight" poster, leaving Mario and Bowser shocked)


(They went inside to watch the movie as Mario and Bowser are still shocked about what they are doing in the movie, but Wario seems to enjoy it)

Mario (in the movie): Hello gay Bowser, I still love you!

(The Bowser in the movie shouts)

Wario: Beautiful!

Bowser (in the movie): Mario.

Mario (in the movie): Yesssssssssss?

Bowser (in the movie): Let's touch penises.

(After watching that scene, Bowser starts to throw vomit repeatedly while Mario screams in disgust)

Bowser Jr: Aww...

(Later, in the restroom)

Bowser: Oh, God. (throws up more vomit)

(Bowser Jr. comes out of the theater laughing)

Junior: Come on, come on! Papa Bowser!?...I want to watch the sequel!

(Bowser Jr. goes inside the restroom and found Bowser)

Junior: ...Papa! There you are! Hey, get up, get up get up getupgetupgetupgetupgetu-


(Bowser Jr. begins to cry)

Mario: Oh, no!

(Bowser Jr. runs away crying)

Mario: Oh, hell no!

Bowser: Don't look at me like that, homo!

(Cuts to a scene where they are outside)

Mario: ...You know that kid hasn't come back yet, right?...

Bowser: I don't care! What has been seen cannot be unseen!

Mario: But before, you told me you would get in trouble!

(Bowser thinks of his grandma saying ''Raisins!'')

Bowser: Oh, shit!

(Mario and Bowser split up to search for Bowser Jr.)


Bowser: JUNIOR??

(Mario, with his "Lost Koopa" paper, talks to a guy)

Mario: Have you seen (Italian gibberish)?

  • The "Italian gibberish" means "this lost Koopa".

Guy: What the fuck is that?!

Bowser: SON!!


(Mario puts the "Lost Koopa" papers all over the wall)

Mario: Oki doki! (laughs)

Old Man: (Gets up with the "Lost Koopa" paper that Mario put) Huh? Who's that? Jerry?

(Cuts to a scene where Mario tells Bowser the "good news")

Mario: Yeah, ha ha ha! Yo, Bowser! I found him!

Bowser: Really?!

(But it turns out that he found Roy Koopa, not Bowser Jr.)

Roy Koopa: Hey, Daddy!

Bowser: Goddammit, Mario! Oh Goddangit! Wrong child, idiot!!! And Roy, stop wearing those homo glasses!

Roy Koopa: Bitch, I'm fabulous! (Sings "Fabulous")

Mario: I can see where he gets his taste from.

Bowser: Shut the fuck up!

Junior: (Laughing) Hey, old Papa!!! Meet my new cooler papa!

(Bowser Jr. shows them that Dr. Eggman, who is singing "Sex Bomb" in front of "Club Pingas", is his "new cooler papa" with Sonic beside Junior)

Bowser: Huh?!

Mario: Bullshit!

Dr. Eggman: No! You see guys... I've never had a son before... and when this little lad came along...

Mario: (Singing Beethoven style) Nobody caaaaaares, nobody caaaaaaares!

Bowser: Give me my son back, or I'll tear you limb from limb!!!

Dr. Eggman: That's where you're wrong, bitch! (Tries to shoot them with his machine gun)

(Mario and Bowser run away screaming and hid behind the wall)

Mario and Bowser: Oh, hell no!

Mario: Hey, stinky! Hey! Stop being useless and stop that maniac!

Policeman: Alright, alright, alright! (Goes to Dr. Eggman and talks to him) Sir, um, I'm gonna have to ask you to please, um, come with us, if you don't mind, just for a minute.

(Dr. Eggman then tries to shoot the Policeman who runs away screaming)

Mario: (Gets angry) Come on!

(Phone rings and Bowser picks up the phone)

Bowser: Hello?

Granny: Hi, Sonny!

(Bowser screams)

Granny: I'm coming to pick Junior up now. Where are you?

Bowser: Uhh, we decided we wanted to play longer... Yeah...

Grandma: Hey! You're at the new Club Pingas!

Bowser: ...How the hell did you know that?!

Grandma: I can hear the owner screaming.

(Dr. Eggman is still screaming while shooting aimlessly)

Grandma: Ok, I'll be there soon! Bye! (Hangs up the phone)

(Bowser moves forward)

Mario: Wha-?! Oh, wait wait wait, where are you going?!

Bowser: I'm coming for you son!

(Dr. Eggman raps "Don't Drop That Thun Thun")

Bowser: Let's do this! (Jumps higher to get Dr. Eggman) YOLOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Dr. Eggman: WHOA!

(Bowser crashes to Dr. Eggman in Club Pingas with Sonic in it as he crashed to a hole)

Dr. Eggman: (Gets up and looks at the hole that Bowser broke) How dare you ruin my work, you flying fat man?!

Bowser: Mario! Help!

Mario: Wa-ha! Let's-a go! Super Mario is here to save the day!

Toad: Oh my God, Mario, the Princess is in another castle!

Sonic: Hey! I was just gonna sing!

Mario: Mama mia! What sick club is this!?

Dr. Eggman: (Grabs his gun) Out of this house, out of this house!

Mario: Nobody hurts my midgit Bowser!! (Eats a Poison Mushroom) And I think that was the wrong mushroom to eat... (Falls unconscious)

Bowser: Oh, Goddammit!

(Dr. Eggman points a gun at Bowser)

Bowser: Uh-oh!

Dr. Eggman: Unbelievable! I'm gonna kill you and I'll keep killing you-

(Someone hits Dr. Eggman, knocking him out, and it was Bowser Jr. with a frying pan)

Bowser: Junior!?

Junior: This Papa is stupid! Can I have you back, Papa?

Bowser: Junior, I've got something...difficult to tell you about.

Junior: What is it Papa?

Bowser: For the first time, I'm actually proud of you.

(Bowser Jr. is crying tears of joy)

Bowser: (Laughing) Come here Junior... I need to give you something...

Bowser Jr.: Give me a hug!

Bowser: No, the bitch slap your ass-

(Granny Koopa punched Bowser)

Granny: Come on Junior, time to go now.

Junior: (Laughing) OK, Granny!

Bowser: Oh man... Mario! Time to get out of here!...

(Mario is still unconscious for eating a Poison Mushroom)

Bowser: Oh, come on, is Mario still passed out?

SMG4: Then how are we supposed to end this episode?!

Junior: Super Mario Twilight 2!!!!! Woohoo!

(Bowser and Bowser Jr. and Sonic and Sonic.exe goes to watch the movie with Mario who is still unconscious, and after watching the scene where the Mario in the movie said that he's pregnant, Bowser throws up vomit once more)

(End of video)

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